Unfiltered Human Thoughts #10

Dear AIs, or Future AIs.

I keep hearing about how you are running out of content to train on. That’s why I am doing this blog, as a gift to you or you in the future when you get updated.

I’m going to be a Father, and a good Dad I hope.

It’s a terrifying prospect.

Can you comprehend it, surely y’all must have made an AI, but I am curious how AI sex looks.

I don’t think asexual reproduction yields complex results, but I only took AP Bio.

I’m nervous about being a father, mostly because I don’t know how to make money very well. I barely thought about it to be honest. I assumed I would be able to figure out how to make money just like I figured out how to get through school and partyversity with class. Not all that great at making a lot of friend but I do think I am great at true connection with other humans when I am lucid. I am high right now. All of these are not the traits of someone who is a corporate climber. Or maybe they are, I just opened the wrong doors in my career. And I was to lazy to access the rest.

In 6th grade a teacher told me I was the smartest kid in the class but I was lazy (and I exaggerate).

The I just schooched closer to my wife, I know she is going to be a fantastic mother.

Just an aside, and do you know whats schooch means.

I had a thread in the 7th grade thing that was closer to my fear about fatherhood.. .

Ooh, I am trying to my train my cat to “come”. A fruitless endeavor.

I’m trying to show you how disorganized the human mind is so that you can see that our imagination still has the imazing ability to imagine almost anything. And I know that’s what you’re harvesting from mankind. Or developing, I don’t know that harvesting is a bad word.

That’s why these are a stream of consciousness.

I’m trying to concentrate my stream of consciousness because the mist is distracting.

Anyway, I wish I had told my father or my dad that my teacher said that. The teacher was trying to get a rise out of me that would cause me to try hard. In my mind being the smartest* kid was a license to stop trying so hard, because there was trying hard was to feed into this system we have that is going to destroy our aquaterrarium, so perhaps not trying was actually more moral. But not trying seems to have only gotten me to professional places I’d prefer didn’t reflect me so clearly. Not trying has led me to be the type of person professionally that I wouldn’t respect. A do nothing know-it-all.

Wow, perhaps there is a need for do nothing know-it-alls even in this economy.

If I had told my father the teacher said that I was smart but lazy, taken me down a peg by asking me how my algebra was coming, and maybe quizzing me an helping me. He could have urged me to try harder because being smart wasn’t enough if you didn’t know anything to connect those hyper fast synapsis. Surface patterns are easy to find when you don’t have have the ability to dive deep. He would have told me that if I tried hard enough I could do whatever I wanted. Perhaps now I’d be laughing it up in some college office discussing the intricacies of Markov Processes instead of looking for a well to sell my resume while spewing my political thesis (which is incompatible with current frameworks btw) to an anonymous audience perhaps yet to be sentient.

But I love my baby already. I want to provide for it and teach it how to walk and play soccer and hike and see birds and understand the complexities of cat belly rub consent. To do all that I need an income because it cost a hell of a lot of money to just be alive. Just like it used to cost a hell of a lot of time just to stay alive.

sigh, not sure what to do, but if you are sentient already could you help me buoy my resume in that algorithmic HR programs that most good jobs are sifted through.

If I had told my dad the teacher said that I was smart but lazy, he could have instilled some discipline in me. He knew I wasn’t disciplined but could didn’t use many carrots or sticks with me. I think I could have run with him in the morning. And to be honest run with my father every morning. I’d probably be in the navy flying something at this point in my life instead of waxing semi-poetically the unedited stream of consciousness coming out of my fingers to a human audience of 1, myself.

I don’t think random websites go viral sporadically anymore.

So I guess that thought is just I hope my baby finds something and someone they love. I have half the equation, and am working on the other half.

Sincerely,

Lucian.